So... When you hear the word Fanny Pack do you find yourself thinking about that time way back when, when you were a child turning a year older? You were excited because you had just discovered that the your parents who you thought were totally lame had finally listened to you and had decided to let you throw the birthday party of your dreams at the zoo. So your parents who once rated a 0 in the cool book just earned 100 points of cool. You of course already have such a big head at this point. I mean after all the cool thing back then was to be older than your friends. It meant you were more mature and grown up than they were. But now... Not only are you a year older but your having your friggin' birthday party at the zoo. Ahhh hell, shits about to get real. Ok so your at the zoo, you and your friends are having such a great time, and you figure well in order to gain extra cool points with my friends lets see how far I can stray away from my parents because even though they allowed your party they still haven't earned enough cool points to hang around you and your friends. So goal for the day is to stay as far away from them as possible so your friends don't think that you are a mama's or daddy's girl. Once you have gotten a safe distance away you figure its safe to stop and look at the animals. Awwwwww look at the tiger he is so cute chewing on his *wait a second... WTF is that he's chewing on? What the hell???? So you and your friends decide to step up onto the ledge and look over the railing to see if you can make out exactly what in the hell this tiger is chewing on. Once you had found out it was a bloody carcass BOOM! Ahhh shit you fell. You busted your nose on the rail in front of all of your friends. Deduct 50 cool points! Your friends are laughing at you. You jump up and try to act like nothing happened. Then all of a sudden you realize your bleeding! Add 10 cool points for shedding blood. Thats when you hear it the pit pat on the concrete of your moms shoes running over to check on you and make sure you weren't dying. It all happens in slow motion of course you hear her scream out your name as she is slowly running over to you (yell next part in slow motion) JJJJJJJJJJEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!! She finally reaches you. She grabs you up and sits you down on the bench right next to the Tiger pit. Then it happens you hear that blood curdling zip as she opens up that hideous fanny pack that she had been wearing around all day. *SIDE NOTE* The one that you had to try to hide from your friends. I mean parents are already embarrasing let alone a mom who wears a fanny pack. You couldn't let your friends know she even had one. So you had lied to her and said mom you must of sat in something because there is something wet all over the back of your pants just so she would tie a jacket around her waist. *BACK ON TRACK* (horror movie soundtrack) REE REE REE! She reaches into her FANNY PACK and pulls out a napkin which she insisted on spitting all over to wipe the blood from your nose. You quickly realize that your friends have witnessed the whole thing. Deduct another 50 points of coolness. Also, deduct the 100 Cool points that you gave to your mom in the first place for allowing you to have the party at the zoo. I mean AHHHHH HELLLL just make her negative like 500 points. I mean she just busted out the freaking fanny pack. I would have prefered to have bled to death. The point is Fanny Packs were monstrous then and they most certainly are monstrous now!
And now a portrayal of a monstrous fanny pack brought to you by the lovely Emma Mongillo!
Thank you Emma for your lovely photo!
But anyways, back to the fact that fanny packs are horrible inventions.
Example: I got an amazing job working as a photographer at BB Riverboats then come to find out I have to wear a fanny pack around the boat while selling. Totally awesome job however, it just lost cool points. No kidding... I love my job but seriously... come on can't I get an apron or something instead?
So ok by this point I am sure that you understand what I mean. A Fanny Pack is a total damper on everything they are far from fashionable whatsoever. But what if I told you our parents were onto something back then? I mean yeah I wouldn't have ever thought in a million years that I would be giving a thumbs up to fanny packs but the truth is that I have. I have come across a couple of Fanny Packs that I look forward to having in my closet myself. I came across these lovelies at a shop I found online called CrossFox!
These beautifully crafted leather Fanny Packs *also known as pocket belts* are absolutely gorgeous!! Plus again we all should in fact still know that I am addicted to fringe and if you don't know this yet get the hell off of my sight you obviously haven't read anything! But you best believe that the next time you see me I will be rocking one of these gorgeously crafted bags.
Mom you were onto something 1000 cool points awarded!
To see more of the beautiful creations at CrossFox please visit her shop here: http://www.etsy.com/shop/crossfox?ref=shop_sugg